I make my own decisions
by Ravensnake
Summary: Chloe heads home from Lucifer's empty apartment, sure that he's gone for good. Rated M for smut - you've been warned. One-shot.


_It's been a while, I know. Eventually, I hope to finish that Zutara fic. That being said, here's a Deckerstar one-shot! The winter finale left me very upset and I needed something to hold me over until May, so here we are._

 _I don't usually do smut, but it seemed necessary here._

 _Enjoy!_

Disclaimer: I don't own any part of _Lucifer_ , though I aspire to write as well as those writers do some day.

* * *

 _Why did I think I could trust him?_

Chloe berates herself on the drive back to the apartment. In thirty-five years, she's been through a lot, and she really thought she'd seen it all. That is, until she showed up at Lucifer's apartment to find him gone. Not just out - gone, maybe for good. This is low, even for him. Lucifer made her believe they would pick up where they left off - he lied to her.

It's not until she makes it home that she realizes she's crying, her face sticky with tears that dry as fast as they fall. When she walks through her front door, she suddenly regrets having told Maze to take Trixie out to a movie. They won't be home for another couple of hours, and she doesn't want to be alone with her thoughts for that long. With the empty rooms looming around her, she considers going back out, possibly calling Ella or Linda for a drink.

Instead, she just goes into her pantry, grabs a party-sized bag of chips, and heads up to her room.

 _Of course there's nothing on…_ After fifteen minutes of channel surfing she gives up on finding something to watch. With nothing left to do, she decides a shower might help her mood.

Despite trying her hardest to distract herself, all she can do is think of Lucifer's words.

 _This is real, isn't it?_ He'd said it with such a genuine look in his eye, like he'd doubt what she felt for him. Chloe can't help but feel stupid for not being the guarded one.

 _I should have known better. Should have listened to him when he said he wasn't worth it…_

Clearly, a shower was a bad idea, so she finishes up as quickly as she can and heads back to her room. Restless and annoyed, she almost misses the sound of someone walking around downstairs. Did Trixie and Maze get back while she was in the shower? Chloe throws on a t-shirt and pajama bottoms before heading back down.

"What happened to the mo-" She stops short of finishing her question, greeted by the sight of Lucifer pacing in her kitchen. "Get out."

"Detective, wait. Let me-"

"Explain? Yeah, no. Leave before I get my gun and make you." The words fall out of her mouth before she can reel them in. She hadn't realized the extent of her anger until now. Annoyed at both herself and the man in her kitchen, she turns on the stairs and heads back to her room.

"Detective, please." Behind her, she can hear Lucifer taking the steps two at a time until he reaches her outside her room. She's determined to ignore him until he leaves, but then he says her name. "Chloe."

"Lucifer, nothing you say will make this better. Before you make things worse, get out." Tears well up in her eyes but she refuses to let them fall. Chloe turns to look at him, unable to stop herself. "Please."

Whatever he sees on her face - pain? anger? - seems to strike him at his core. Though she knows she shouldn't, Chloe lets herself feel satisfied at having hurt him just a little. It looks like he might actually listen to her and leave, but the resolve hardens behind his eyes and he stands his ground.

"I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. It wasn't my intention to-" He sighs, struggling to speak, running his hand through his hair. "I told you I'm not worth it."

"You don't get to decide that for me." She crosses her arms, her eyes pinning Lucifer in place. "I'm an adult - I can make my own decisions."

There's a sad smile on his face at her words, something unfathomable in his eyes trying to communicate a message she can't interpret. "I know you are, Detective. You're more than capable. It's just…"

"Just what? Whatever you have to say, just say it."

"You wouldn't believe me anyway." Lucifer looks so defeated, Chloe feels her heart crack. She watches as he leans against the hallway, sliding to the floor to hold his head in his hands. "I shouldn't have come back…"

Chloe knows she'll regret it, but she kneels beside him anyway, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Lucifer…"

"See? Selfless to a nauseating degree." Lucifer moves his hands out of the way, giving her a look of bewilderment. "I hurt you, and here you are comforting me."

She removes her hand, deciding Lucifer is right - why is she comforting him? Chloe sits back against the opposite wall, crossing her arms and legs. "You're right. You did hurt me. Why did you leave? Why didn't you pick up any of my calls? Why did you lie to me?"

"I never lied. I-"

"Yes you did! You made me believe you'd be there after the hospital. You didn't tell me you were leaving."

"That's not a-"

"A lie of omission is still a lie, Lucifer!" Chloe's words cut him deep, if the expression on his face is anything to go by. "You said you'd never lie to me."

"I did, didn't I?" He avoids her eyes, then, looking down at his hands. "You deserve the truth." Though she can't see his eyes anymore, the set of his jaw tells her he's struggling with something. "Even if you'll hate me for it."

"What are you talking about?" What else did he lie about? Chloe's heart stutters, her gut sensing something awful is about to happen.

"I'm the devil - I've never lied about that, yet you don't believe me."

"Lucifer-"

"So I need to show you." When he looks up at her, Chloe can't contain her gasp. His face is changed, the handsome visage gone and replaced by fiery red skin. The whites of his eyes are black now, the warm brown she's come to trust turned molten crimson. The image lingers for a moment that feels like an eternity.

When he changes back, she still can't speak. He doesn't stay long, standing immediately after changing back. Something snaps inside Chloe when he does, and she finds her voice again. "Lucifer, wait."

He stops short of the first step down the stairs, turning in place at her words. "What?"

"Give me…give me a minute." Chloe holds up her hand in a gesture for him to wait as she closes her eyes in an attempt to process what she saw. "You're…you're actually…"

"The devil. Yes. As I told you when we first met." Lucifer doesn't move from his spot by the stairs, and he's still standing there when Chloe finally looks up at him again.

"So all that talk about your dad…about God…"

"Yes." He pauses before taking a step toward her. "You're taking this surprisingly well - much better than Linda did."

"Linda knows? Has she known this whole time?" Chloe doesn't know why, but the fact he told her first upsets her.

"Only recently." His words are cautious as he approaches her again.

"And this is why you have to leave? Because you're the devil? Then why didn't you leave sooner?" Chloe finally stands, regaining her bearing and going back to her questions.

"Well, yes and no." There's a debate happening behind his eyes, she can see it.

"Is there more I need to know?"

"My father…he…set certain things in motion so we would meet. This is all part of his plan…" Lucifer seems to struggle with meeting her eyes again.

"What?" It finally dawns on Chloe - that's why Lucifer doubted it was real. "Is that why…why you thought it might not be real?"

"Yes…our entire relationship came about from manipulation. You don't…don't deserve that. If I leave, your life will go back to normal. No more divine intervention."

"Normal? You think you can walk out of my life without a trace? Lucifer-"

"I have to. You deserve better. You'll realize that once I'm gone."

"You think a switch will turn off in my brain and I'll forget? If what you say is true, and God set us up, he didn't force me to like you - I came to that on my own. I still have free will, don't I?" Chloe can't believe she's debating philosophy with him right now. "Don't you?"

The struggle comes back to his eyes, and he looks like he's about to run away again. Before he has a chance to, she reaches out to grab the cuff of his suit. His eyes drift to her grip, sorrow almost permanently fixed into them. "Chloe…I…"

"Look me in the eye, and tell me this doesn't feel real. Tell me that what I feel for you isn't genuine." Chloe slides her grip from his cuff to his hand, prompting him to look at her. When he does, there's doubt in his eyes again. She lets her hand drift up to his jaw, grazing the scruff before cupping his face.

This time, it's his eyes that pin hers. The array of emotions that flow through them nearly overwhelms Chloe. Her heart stutters again, her stomach twisting into knots at the way he looks at her. She can't help her own somber smile. He doesn't speak, so she speaks again.

"It feels real to me." Chloe pulls him into a kiss, more passionate than the first they shared. She half expects him to push her away, to continue his denial, but he doesn't. Lucifer's arms wrap around her in a warm embrace, their bodies pressed together. He responds with equal passion, one hand drifting into her hair. She pulls back for a breath. "This is…this is _real_. _It's real_ , Lucifer."

"Chloe…how…even after knowing the truth?" His eyes search hers for an explanation, his knuckles grazing her cheek.

"Because I'm an adult, Lucifer. I make my own decisions." Her fingers brush his bottom lip. "And I've decided not to let you leave."

At her words, he pulls her back into another searing kiss, one hand wandering down to scoop her into his arms. He pins her to the wall with his body, triggering a gasp as her legs wrap around his waist. Lucifer takes the opportunity to deepen the kiss, overwhelming her. Chloe's fingers rake through his hair, pulling him deeper, producing a groan that reverberates through both of them.  
This is better than any dream, and Chloe finds herself wanting to lead him into her room. As if responding to her thoughts, he slides a hand under her shirt, his fingers starting a trail of fire up her spine. "Lucifer…"

He pulls back, his eyes hazy with lust. Still, he's lucid enough to ask, "Do you want me to stop?"

"No. No, but…" Her eyes drift to her bedroom door. Lucifer follows her gaze, understanding dawning in his eyes. She takes advantage of the moment and slips from his grip, taking his hand and leading him into her room. She closes the door behind them.

"Chloe, are you sure this is what you want?" The hunger in his eyes makes it clear he wants her to say yes, but doubt continues to linger. She's reminded of her dream again.

"Shut up." She pulls him in, their lips meeting in frantic motions. Lucifer finally gives in completely, picking her up and closing the rest of the distance to her bed. He sits on the edge, allowing her to straddle his lap, his hands wandering under her shirt once more. Chloe follows his lead, prompting him to remove the suit jacket as she works on the buttons of his shirt. Like in her dream, she ends up ripping them apart so her hands can roam his skin, her fingers gently touching the scars where his wings used to be.

Lucifer doesn't seem to mind, and makes quick work of her clothes after, pulling the shirt over her head in a swift move. Instead of returning to her lips, his mouth starts a trail down her neck, prompting small moans of encouragement from Chloe. His fingers glide along her abdomen before settling on her breasts, teasing her nipples as his mouth leaves small bites on her collarbone.

She calls his name, the word almost a whimper. At this, he scoops her up again and places her on the bed on her back. Lucifer holds himself up with one arm, his mouth back on hers in another kiss. His free hand roams down her front, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake. Chloe gasps when she feels him slip under the waistband of her pants. Without realizing it, she bucks against his hand, encouraging him to go farther down. He obliges, sliding first one finger, then two inside her. Lucifer swallows her moans with each move.

He pulls his lips away, eliciting a sound of protest that turns into pleasure as he makes his way down her body. Chloe feels a sudden chill, realizing he's started pulling her pants down. Anticipation coils in her belly as he moves farther down, his mouth beginning a trail along her inner thigh. She calls his name when his mouth replaces his fingers, waves of pleasure running through her with each passing moment. His tongue dances on her clit, and she arches her back, hungry for more. Lucifer pins her hips to the bed, and all she can do is reach down, her fingers in his hair again as she struggles to contain herself. Chloe feels herself climb higher, so close to release she can taste it.

"Lucifer!" She cries his name louder than she intended as she's overwhelmed with sensation. His mouth goes back to her neck as his fingers slide back in, stroking as she rides the aftershock. She's so sensitive she can already feel a second orgasm on the way. Chloe regains control of her limbs, moving to undo his belt in a rush for more.

"Tell me what you desire, Chloe." His voice is husky in her ear, his breath warm on her neck.

"You." She arches up to brush against the bulge waiting to be freed.

Lucifer moves to finish undressing, ridding himself of the rest of his clothes before closing the distance between them again. His erection brushes against her, and Chloe's sure she's dreaming. Lucifer slides his hand into her hair, bringing her into another kiss as he positions himself over her. Again, he asks, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, Lucifer. Yes." She hooks her leg around his as she pulls him into a kiss.

Lucifer slides into her slowly, producing a shiver in both of them as she adjusts to the size. His pleasure-filled groan strikes her core and she responds in kind, their sounds mingling. He thrusts again, hitting just the right spot to make her cry out again. His eyes find hers, half-lidded in a haze of lust and need. When he speaks, his voice is rough, reflecting her own lust back at her. "You're exquisite."

Chloe pulls him into a kiss, thrusting back as they develop a steady rhythm, getting faster by the moment. Every move sends a jolt of pleasure through her, and she knows she's close again. She flips them, so Lucifer is on his back as she continues the pace, her head back in ecstasy. He sits up, pulling her into a kiss as she finally goes over the edge again. Chloe rides out the orgasm, continuing until Lucifer joins her. Before she knows it, she's on her back again, Lucifer thrusting harder, her name on his lips as he reaches his own end. "Chloe…"

Her name lingers in the air around them, punctuated by their breathing. Slowly, what just happened registers in Chloe's mind. At first, she thinks she'll regret it. But the more she thinks about it, the less that's true. When Lucifer moves to get off her, she stops him. "Don't leave."

He looks at her, a small smile on his lips. "I'll stay as long as you'll have me."

Lucifer shifts to lie beside her, pulling the comforter up to cover them both before taking her in his arms again.

"I'm glad you've finally come to your senses."

"No, I believe you've just lost yours." He chuckles, placing a kiss on her shoulder. "But if this is what you want, so be it."

"Is it what _you_ want?" She turns in his arms, eyes searching for the truth.

"More than anything." His grip on her tightens, like he's afraid she'll float away. Chloe kisses him in response, the embrace soon turning passionate again.

She has a feeling it's going to be a long night.

* * *

 _Reviews welcome!_


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